One way on how to increase self esteemthat people always find hard to do is being contented. What is contentment anyway? Contentment is being happy of having enough. This may be mind bugling as no one really knows how much is enough, less than enough, and more than enough. What contentment means
of being happy of having enough is learning to find joy in what you have. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have what you think are the “finer things” in life. It is finding joy in your everyday life as you are going to the process of attaining your goal. Once you find joy in everything you have and do, you will have clear thoughts and vission on what you really want in life.
Being happy and contented really counts in a person’s self esteem. You can’t find everyday contentment when you have low self esteem. Their are easy ways on how to increase self esteem but it will just become a temporary boost of your self esteem when you don’t find contentment. If you need help of finding everyday contentment, here are some tips you may do.
Keep an easy diary
I started keeping a one-sentence journal because I knew I would never be able to keep a proper diary with lengthy entries. This way, it’s a manageable task, so it doesn’t make me feel burdened; it gives a feeling of accomplishment and progress; it helps keep happy memories vivid, and it gives me a reason to think lovingly about the members of my family. We tend to overestimate what we can do in the short term, and underestimate what we can do in the long term, if we do a little bit at a time.
Writing one sentence a day sounds fairly easy, and it is; at the end of the year it adds up to a marvellous record.
Make yourself happier in the next hour
Check off as many of the following as possible in one hour:
1. Boost your energy. Stand up and pace or take a 10-minute walk outside. Research shows that when people move faster, their metabolism speeds up; good for focus, mood and retaining facts.
2. Reach out to friends. Make a lunch date or send an email to a friend. Having warm, close bonds with other people is one of the keys to happiness.
3. Rid yourself of a nagging task. Answer a difficult email, make that dentist’s appointment … Crossing a chore off the list gives an energy rush.
4. Clear your desk. Sort papers and stow supplies. An tidy environment creates a more serene mood.
5. Lay the groundwork for future fun. Studies show that having fun on a regular basis is a pillar of happiness, and anticipation is an important part of that.
6. Act happy. Put a smile on your face right now, and keep smiling. Research shows that even an artificially-induced smile has a positive effect on emotions.
Tips for maintaining friendships
1. Use social media. Technology lets me keep in touch with more friends in a wildly more efficient way. But …
2. Show up. Nothing can replace seeing someone.
3. Think about what type of social activity brings you happiness, then make it happen.
4. Keeping in touch can feel like a lot of work. One strategy that works for me is to write “This made me think of you” emails.
5. Cut people slack. Try not to take it personally if a friend cancels plans or forgets about something important. We tend to view other people’s actions as reflections of their characters, and to overlook the power of a situation to influence them.
Realistic rules for boosting productivity
I confess: I can’t touch each piece of paper just once; I can’t return every email within a day; I can’t always maintain a clear desk. Nevertheless, I’ve found some realistic strategies for getting things done. An accumulation of tiny tasks combine to make me feel overwhelmed. If I can keep little chores from piling up, I feel more capable of tackling bigger tasks.
1. Follow the one-minute rule. I don’t postpone any task that can be done in less than a minute. I put away my umbrella; I put newspapers in the recycling bin. Because the tasks are quick, it isn’t too hard to make myself follow the rule, but it has big results.
2. Observe the evening tidy-up. I take 10 minutes before bed to do simple tidying, making mornings more serene and pleasant.
3. Ask, “Why do I need this?” before keeping anything.
4. If there’s something you don’t want to do, prepare all necessary preliminary steps the night before, and make yourself do it first thing in the morning.
5. Unsubscribe from unwanted email lists to weed out inbox clutter.
6. Keep a daily note pad of phone numbers, URLs… At the end of the day, I copy anything important, then bin the paper.
Happiness boosters that do more harm than good
Beware if you are tempted to try any of the following:
1. Letting yourself off the hook. I’m happy I’ve given up junk food. When you’re feeling down, you might be tempted to let yourself off the hook. In fact, sticking to a resolution will boost your sense of self-esteem and self-control.
2. Turning off your phone. Studies show that extroverts and introverts alike get a mood boost from connecting with other people.
3. Expressing your negative emotions. Many people believe in the “catharsis hypothesis” and think that expressing anger is healthy-minded and relieves their feelings. Not so. Studies show that expressing anger only aggravates it. Once I get going, I can whip myself into a fury.
4. Staying in your pyjamas all day. Sometimes this can be a fun thing to do, but if you’re feeling lethargic, powerless, or directionless, not getting dressed is going to make you feel even worse. Put on your clothes – including your shoes – so you feel prepared for whatever the day might offer. While you’re at it, make your bed.
Tips if you’re chronically late
Feeling as though you’re always 20 minutes behind schedule is an unhappy feeling. Are you late because …
1. You sleep too late? It’s time to think about going to bed earlier. Sleep deprivation is a real drag on your happiness and health.
2. You try to get one last thing done? If you always try to answer that extra email or put away the washing before you leave, here’s a way to outwit yourself: take a task that you can do when you reach your destination, and leave early.
3. You hate your destination so much you want to postpone showing up? You’re giving yourself a signal that you need to think about making a change in your life.
How to deal with a bad day
We’ve all had terrible, horrible, very bad days. Here are some strategies I use:
1. Resist the urge to treat yourself. Often, the things we choose as treats aren’t good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt deepen the lousiness.
2. Try doing something nice for someone else: “Do good, feel good”. Be selfless, if only for selfish reasons.
3. Distract yourself. Watching a funny movie or TV show is a great way to take a break.
4. Tell yourself, “Well, at least I …” Yes, you had a horrible day, but at least you went to the gym, or walked the dog, or read your children a story.
5. Remind yourself of your other identities. If you feel like a loser at work, send out an email to engage with childhood friends or don’t miss the exercise class where everyone likes you.
6. Keep perspective. Ask yourself: “Will this matter in a month? In a year?”. I recently came across a note I’d written to myself years ago, that said “TAXES!!!!!!!!”. I dimly remember the panic I felt; it’s all lost and forgotten.
7. Write it down. When something horrible is consuming my mind, I find that if I write up a paragraph or two about the situation, I get immense relief.
8. Remind yourself that a lousy day isn’t a catastrophic day. Be grateful that you’re still on the “lousy” spectrum. Things could be worse.
Learn to deal calmly with criticism
I have a very hard time being criticised, corrected, or accused – even of the smallest mistakes. Here are some of the strategies that I try to use to accept criticism.
1. Really listen to what a critic is saying , don’t just nod while you formulate your retorts.
2. Don’t be defensive. This is the toughest step for me. With my writing, I always have to take a deep breath before meeting with an editor, to remind myself, ‘This person is helping me. I want to hear how to improve’. Act the way you want to feel. It’s really uncannily effective; acting friendly and eager to learn makes you feel friendlier and more eager to learn.
3. Don’t fire back by criticising your critic. Your comments will just sound defensive, and you’ll escalate the exchange.
4. Delay your reaction. Count to 10, take a deep breath, sleep on it, wait to send that email …
Good deeds that take less than five minutes
“Do good, feel good” is one of the great truths of happiness – but you may be thinking, “Sure, good deeds would make me happy, but I barely have time to get through the essentials of my day. I don’t have time to do any good deeds!”.
1. Be friendly. I’ve decided that there are five degrees of social interactions with strangers: hostile, rude, neutral, polite, and friendly. I find it difficult to be downright friendly to strangers, but I always find myself energised by a friendly interaction. It only takes a minute to exchange a few pleasant words, but it makes a real difference.
2. Say “yes”. If you can, and if you should, say “yes”.
3. Say “no”. My sister, who works as a writer in Hollywood, once told me, “‘Yes’ comes right away; ‘no’ never comes”. Meaning that when she’s pitched an idea, if she doesn’t hear “yes” right away, it means they don’t like the idea. I’ve found this precept to be widely true. If someone is waiting for your “no”, put them out of their misery.
4. Do someone else’s chore. Try not to keep score, not to focus so much on everything coming out even – like division of chores.
Beat clutter in five minutes
It’s a Secret of Adulthood: for most people, outer order contributes to inner calm. Having a clutter-filled home makes me feel overwhelmed.
Everywhere I look, I see little chores. Pretty soon, it’s easier just to add to the piles than to try to attack the problem.
That’s another Secret of Adulthood: tidy areas tend to stay tidy, and messy areas tend to get messier.
These tips each take no more than five minutes. I mostly follow these, and I’m a lot happier when I do:
1. Make your bed.
2. Get rid of the newspaper each night.
3. Find a place where you can give things you no longer need.
4. Be cautious about letting yourself “store”.
5. Never accept anything free, unless you’re thrilled with it.
6. Hang up your coat.
Nothing is more exhausting than the task that is never started. Remember: most decisions don’t require extensive research. I often get paralysed by my inability to make a decision, but by reminding myself that, often, one choice just isn’t that much different from another choice, I can usually get started.
1. Suffer for 15 minutes. You can do anything for 15 minutes – and 15 minutes, day after day, adds up surprisingly fast. That’s how I finally dug myself out of the crushing (if virtual) load of digital photos on my computer.
2. Protect yourself from interruption. Do it first thing in the morning. Don’t allow yourself time to reflect. Just do it.
You always have the power to make yourself happy. How you see and feel about the things around you is how you perceive them to be. Your feelings are what you make it. When you’re contented of what you are, you will surely find happiness in what you do. Contentment is really a great way on how to increase self esteem, and you should begin the process now.
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